How to Protect Your Mindset from Negative Birth Stories
"I had the worst labor ever…"
Oh no. Here it comes—the unsolicited negative birth story. You’re just trying to sip your tea, browse cute baby clothes, or peacefully exist as a pregnant person when someone decides it’s time to share their trauma Olympics tale.
Suddenly, you’re drowning in details about marathon labors, impossible pain, and everything that could go wrong. And let’s be real—this stuff sticks. It plants tiny seeds of doubt that can grow into full-blown anxiety if you’re not careful.
Here’s the thing: your mindset matters. Protecting it is one of the most powerful things you can do to prepare for an empowering, natural birth. Let’s dive into how to keep those negative stories from hijacking your confidence and calm.
Step 1: Set Boundaries Like a Boss
You’re not obligated to be the audience for anyone’s birth horror story. Period.
Politely Redirect: If someone starts spiraling into negativity, interrupt with, “I’m sorry you went through that. I’m focusing on positive birth stories right now—can we talk about something else?”
Blame the Baby: Use the classic, “My baby feels everything I feel, so I’m trying to stay calm and positive during pregnancy.”
Go Full Shutdown Mode: If someone just won’t take the hint, it’s okay to say, “I don’t feel comfortable discussing this.” Boundaries don’t have to be mean—they just have to be clear.
Pro Tip: Practice these phrases so you’re ready when a story starts heading into nightmare territory.
Step 2: Curate Your Birth Bubble
Social media, books, podcasts—your brain is soaking it all in. Be intentional about what you consume.
Follow Positive Accounts: Fill your feed with uplifting birth stories, empowering affirmations, and inspiring natural birth content.
Choose Your Books Wisely: Stick to resources that empower and educate you, like Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth.
Skip the Forums: Online birth forums can be a rabbit hole of worst-case scenarios. Protect your peace by avoiding them altogether.
Remember, you’re in charge of your mental environment. Choose content that lifts you up, not weighs you down.
Step 3: Focus on Empowering Birth Stories
For every scary birth story out there, there are countless empowering ones—you just need to find them.
Join Supportive Communities: Look for natural birth groups or forums where positive stories are the norm.
Watch Uplifting Birth Videos: Seeing calm, unmedicated births can help you visualize your own empowering experience.
Connect with Like-Minded Moms: Surround yourself with people who believe in you and your ability to birth naturally.
Hearing stories of strength and resilience will remind you: If they can do it, so can I.
Step 4: Use Affirmations to Rewire Your Brain
Negative stories have a sneaky way of sticking in your mind. Combat that by actively rewiring your thoughts with affirmations.
Try These:
“My body was made to birth my baby.”
“I trust my instincts and my baby’s timing.”
“I am strong, capable, and prepared.”
Make It a Habit: Repeat affirmations daily—while brushing your teeth, during yoga, or whenever you feel a wave of doubt.
Affirmations aren’t just fluff; they’re a powerful way to retrain your brain to focus on the positive.
Step 5: Ground Yourself in the Present
Negative stories often trigger fears about what could happen. The best way to combat this? Stay rooted in the here and now.
Practice Mindfulness: Focus on your breath, your baby’s movements, or the present moment to calm anxious thoughts.
Use Visualization: Picture yourself laboring confidently and calmly, surrounded by support and love.
Remind Yourself: Every birth is unique. Their story isn’t your story.
Staying present helps you push past the fear and embrace the journey ahead.
Final Thoughts: Protect Your Peace
Your mindset is the foundation of an empowering birth. By setting boundaries, curating positivity, and actively choosing what to focus on, you’re giving yourself the best chance to approach labor with confidence and calm.
You don’t have to carry other people’s fears—you’ve got your own powerful, unique story to write. Trust your body, trust your baby, and trust your ability to protect your peace.
Ready to Build an Unshakeable Birth Mindset?
Download my Labor/Birth Affirmations to access affirmations, visualization exercises, and more tools to keep your confidence strong.
What’s one thing you’re doing to stay positive during pregnancy? Share it in the comments—I’d love to hear how you’re protecting your mindset!
