Preparing Mentally for Labor & Birth

Hey there, beautiful souls! 🌼 Welcome back to the Birth & Baby Blog. Grab your favorite drink and a cozy blanket, and let’s talk about how to make your birthing experience the best it can possibly be. Today’s blog is all about something that I’m SUPER passionate about—and that’s preparing mentally for birth. And trust me, it’s gonna be fun and packed with the kind of real talk that you’ve come to expect from me on this blog.

I’ve told my first two birth stories on the Birth & Baby Podcast and if you want to go back and listen, they are episodes 2 and 12. What I’m talking about today is probably the thing that made the BIGGEST difference in those two birth stories besides just being educated on all of my choices, and that’s mindset work.

My first birth was traumatic and scary and hard. There’s no sugarcoating that. I was simply a patient in the hospital having no clue what to expect and what was happening with my own body. My adrenaline was through the roof because ya girl was SCARED!!! I thought I prepared as much as I could with all my STUFF, right? I had my baby's stuff at home, I had 5 hospital bags packed, I was listening to the doctors…. But I did not do any mental prep work at all. Because I didn’t know I needed to!

With my second, when I was researching all the ways to make sure this birth was BETTER than my first go around, I learned that mindset played a huge roll in labor and birth. I never really believed in that woo woo if you believe it it will happen crap, but I needed to try anything and everything to have a better birth this time so I took the hypnobabies course, I did so much mind work and mental preparation, and my labor and birth was picture perfect. I mean you couldn’t have a better experience than I did with my second. I would even say it was a pain-free birth. (side note here, that does not mean I didn’t feel pressure and stretching and all that jazz, but not really PAIN.) I also had a supportive doula which was phenomenal.

My friend Rachel has a similar story. She’s one of those people who has a plan for everything. She’s got her birth plan, her backup birth plan, and a Plan C just in case the first two somehow implode. But there’s one thing she didn’t plan for: her mind.

So Rachel called me late in her third trimester and says to me, “Lindsee, I was so focused on where I wanted to give birth, what kind of essential oils I wanted in my diffuser, and making sure my partner knew when to start the playlist, that I completely forgot to prepare myself mentally. Now I’m freaking the f out!”

We can laugh about it now because, honestly, we’ve all been there. But the truth is, my first birth experience and Rachel’s experience is more common than you might think. A lot of mamas get so caught up in the logistics, the birth plan, and the physical preparation that they forget the one most crucial element—their mindset.

Why Mental Preparation is the Secret Sauce for Childbirth

Okay, let’s talk about why mental preparation is the secret sauce to a smoother, more enjoyable birth. I know, I know—you’re thinking, “But Lindsee, I’ve got my birth playlist ready, my hospital bag packed, and I’ve been doing my squats!” And that’s awesome, but here’s the thing: Birth is as much a mental game as it is a physical one.

When you prepare mentally, you’re setting the stage for how you’ll respond to the unexpected. And let’s be real—birth IS unpredictable. You can plan all you want, and you can prepare all you want, but you can never truly PLAN birth to a T right? You might not get the perfect birth scenario you’ve imagined, but with the right mindset, you can roll with whatever happens and still feel good about it.

I always say, “Your mind is the most powerful tool you have during labor.” When you mentally prepare, you’re not just getting ready for the pain (though, that’s part of it), but you’re also getting ready for the emotional rollercoaster that is labor. Because, trust me, there will be highs and lows.

The Mind-Body Connection: How Mental Preparation Reduces Pain

Okay, so let’s dive into the juicy stuff—how your mindset can actually help you manage pain during labor. This is where things get really interesting because science actually backs this up. The mind-body connection is no joke.

When you’re calm, centered, and mentally prepared, your body is more likely to stay relaxed. And when your body is relaxed, it can do its thing—bring that beautiful baby into the world—without as much tension and resistance. And guess what? Less tension means less pain.

Let’s think of it this way: Imagine you’re on a rollercoaster. If you’re tense and holding on for dear life, every twist and turn is going to feel more intense, right? But if you relax and go with the flow, the ride can actually be pretty exhilarating. That’s birth!! When your mind is in the right place, you can flow with the process rather than fight against it.

Practical Tips for Mental Preparation

Now that we’ve talked about why mental preparation is so important, let’s get into some practical tips that you can start using today. These are things you can do whether you’re in your first trimester or just days away from your due date.

1. Visualization:
Start visualizing your ideal birth. I know, I know—birth rarely goes exactly as planned, but this isn’t about creating a rigid plan. It’s about mentally rehearsing how you want to feel. Picture yourself calm, strong, and in control. Picture your partner supporting you, the environment being just right, and most importantly, picture yourself meeting your baby with a big, beautiful smile on your face.

2. Affirmations:
I’m a HUGE fan of affirmations. They’re like little pep talks that you give yourself. Try this one: “My body is strong, my mind is calm, and I trust the process of birth.” Say it in the morning, say it before bed, heck—say it in the shower if you need to. The more you repeat it, the more it’ll sink in. I actually made 30 free affirmation cards and left some blank for you to create your own. You can get them at wildflowerbirthservice.com/affirmations or in my linktree in my Instagram bio.

3. Mindful Breathing:
This is a game-changer. Practice breathing deeply and mindfully, especially when things start to feel intense. It’s simple, but I promise it works. Focus on your breath, let it ground you, and remind yourself that each breath brings you closer to meeting your baby.

4. Educate Yourself:
The more you know, the more empowered you’ll feel. Knowledge is power, and when you understand what’s happening in your body, it’s easier to stay calm and focused. Take a childbirth education course (like mine, hint hint) and immerse yourself in positive birth stories. Which brings me to number 5..

5. Surround Yourself with Positivity:
This one’s crucial. Avoid the horror stories and instead, surround yourself with positive birth vibes. Listen to uplifting birth stories, talk to women who had empowering birth experiences, and curate your social media to be full of supportive, positive content. STOP listening to your mom and aunt tell you how horrible their births were and shut that noise out!

Busting Common Birth Myths

Now, I wanna take a little detour and bust some myths that might be floating around in your head. Because let’s be honest, there’s a LOT of misinformation out there about birth and how to prepare for it. And while i’m on this topic, hospital based childbirth education classes are okay but they are not good enough if you TRULY want to be prepared. They will teach you how to be a good patient and how to abide by their protocol and procedures.. They will not present you with all of your options or even let you know that you HAVE other options aside from what their norm is. Anyways, on to myth 1.

Myth 1: “If I mentally prepare, I’m setting myself up for disappointment if things don’t go as planned.”
False. Mental preparation is not about creating a rigid birth plan that must be followed to the letter. It’s about building resilience, so that no matter what happens, you can handle it with grace and strength.

Myth 2: “Mental preparation is just for hippie, woo-woo types.”
Again, false. This is what I used to think and that’s so not me! But Mental preparation is for EVERYONE. Whether you’re planning a natural birth, a medicated birth, or something in between, your mindset truly does matter.

Myth 3: “I don’t have time to prepare mentally—I’m too busy preparing everything else!”
Listen, I get it. There’s a lot to do, but mental preparation doesn’t have to take hours out of your day. Even just a few minutes of visualization, affirmations, or mindful breathing can make a huge difference.

Final Thoughts: Transforming Yourself Into a Mother

Alright, so we’ve covered a lot of ground today, from the importance of mental preparation to practical tips you can start using right now. But before we wrap up, let me leave you with this thought: Birth is not just about bringing a baby into the world. It’s about transforming yourself into a mother. And that transformation starts in your mind.

So, really take the time to prepare mentally. Give yourself permission to focus on your mindset, because it will make a world of difference when the big day arrives.

I’m actually hosting a free webinar about how to avoid a painful birth next week. I have one on August 29th and one on Saturday, August 31. If you want to come, we’ll talk more about the importance of preparing for birth and how to avoid a painful birth experience and plan for an enjoyable one! Go to wildflowerbirthservice.com/webinar to register. Again, it’s totally free, and I’d love to see you there!

Alright, That’s all for today, mamas! I hope you’re feeling inspired and empowered to start (or continue) your mental preparation for birth. Remember, you’ve got this. Your mind is strong, your body is capable, and you are ready to bring your baby into the world with confidence and grace.

If you loved this blog post, be sure to share it with your fellow mamas-to-be, and don’t forget to subscribe to our podcast so you never miss an episode. And hey, if you’re ready to dive deeper into mental preparation and everything else that goes into having your dream birth, don’t forget to check out my free webinar next week or my childbirth education course—it’s packed with all the tips, tricks, and good vibes you need.

Until next time, sending you love, light, and positive birthing vibes.

🌼 Lindsee